It’s a valid question! AM I RIGHT?! In any case, I didn’t know the answer so I took to the only community of people who could answer…Yahoo! Answers! as a part of my “experimenting with asking the Internet dumb questions” series.
If you have questions about the world, I’m telling you, there is no more authoritative source on everything than Yahoo! Answers. It’s a community that is chock full of the weirdest ill informed people ever. So, naturally, if I have a question, it’s where I go for answers.
Today, my question is one that all of you will probably ask during the approaching summer: Am I Getting Bit By Bugs Because I’m Too Sweet? How Do I Prevent It?
The reason for my question: You guys…I’m getting bit like crazy! I don’t know by what, but I’ve got multiple bites on my arms and legs.
When I asked people why, they said it’s because I’m too sweet…which, honestly, is true. I’m a really sweet guy. But don’t get me wrong, I’ve also got an edge. I mean, I’m a nice guy, but I can wear a leather jacket and rough it up too. I like to think of myself as a Jack McBrayer Gosling.
Regardless, is there a food I can eat to stop these bugs from biting me, or am I just too darn sweet?
As most of you know, I love Yahoo! Answers. It’s the go-to for any factual information you need in life. And, being the inquisitive person I am, I have set out to get answers to lifes toughest questions. With the help of the whackos who answer these questions, I will be the most learned person in life.
As such, here is my latest question: How long until a watermelon grows in my stomach? What can I do to stop it?
Here is the link: answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AvQr0H6PVMv9FeAOu.vyW4rsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20130305113018AAIi9EZ
If you have the answer, for goodness sake, why are you still reading this?!? Log-in and answer!
If you haven’t been keeping tabs on all the fun/exciting/amazing things I’m doing, one of them is getting down to business. The business of getting weirdos from Yahoo! Answers to answer my life’s questions! This time I hit them with a hard one! Can they answer? Will they answer? Will you answer? Will I get an answer? Why do I say “answer” so much?
In any case, something about urinals has been bothering me. As you all know, I’m a clean gentleman! And as a clean gentleman, I hate it when stupid urinals try to make me look otherwise! You see, there’s a splash factor that comes into males using normal toilets with the seat up, and I’m determined to find out why we haven’t corrected that as a society. So, to find out, I took to the most reliable source of whackjobs, Yahoo! Answers.
Click on this link to see the actual question and hopefully answer (said it again!): http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Alh7fdkHGSQiBFxujEX1aSDsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20130115135254AA0lreR
If you don’t like links, or just don’t want to click on things, here’s what I asked:
Why Isn’t There a Splash Up Shield for Male Stand-up Urination on Regular Toilets?
Honestly, we’ve come to far as a race, and are too evolved for this to keep happening. When males urinate, there is a certain formula in which the height of the male, plus the speed of the urine, plus the shape of a toilet bowel that makes it impossible to not have some water/urine splash up on the bowl or even on the floor. Why hasn’t a shield or something of the like been invented?!?! OR has something been invented that I’m not aware of?
It may be a new year, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop asking absurd questions to the absurd world that is Yahoo! Answers! This time I ask “What’s the protocol on how your ears react to someone talking about you?” Just to refresh you on the backstory of why I’ve entered and dark and weird world of Y!A, here you go…
I love Yahoo! Answers. I mean, let’s face it, it’s probably the only good thing that’s come out of the creation of the Internet.
Don’t believe me? Well get this, you ask a question, and then whackjobs answer it! THERE IS NOTHING BETTER! Thus, given my obsession, I finally decided to create an account to get to the bottom of some things that have been itching my brain.
Here’s the link and the copy, feel free to answer away!
What’s the protocol on how your ears react to someone talking about you? Is it that they’re red? Or, warm? Or, ringing? Perhaps it’s red if they’re talking negatively, warm if they’re talking fondly, and ringing if they’re yelling? Wait, no…warm if they’re just like, “meh, he/she is alright at air hockey” but when they’re like, “he/she is AMAZING at air hockey,” that’s when they’re ringing. Sorta like red light, yellow light, green light. The green light is the ringing, and the red light is the red.
In case you didn’t know, I LOVE Yahoo! Answers. And as I’ve said before, it’s probably the only good thing that’s come out of the creation of the Internet.
Don’t believe me? Well get this, you ask a question, and then whackjobs answer it! THERE IS NOTHING BETTER! Thus, given my obsession, I finally decided to create an account to get to the bottom of some things that have been itching my brain. Here’s my second question, “What religious affiliation does Santa have?” Click on the link below to log-in and answer!
Here’s the copy of my question: What religious affiliation does Santa have? I assumed that he was Catholic. One could definitely assume that, but after much thought and seeing photos of Santa hat’s that may or may not have been hiding a Yarmulke I wasn’t sure. Then there was the thought that we may be Buddhist giving the come and go of the season.
Oh man! Remember last week when I told you Yahoo! Answers was unreal? Remember when I posted a ridiculous question and assumed somebody would answer it? Well guess what, I WAS RIGHT! Annnnd, apparently giraffes are super easy to import into the United States BUT they do reproduce. Here’s the text as seen below:
“Most subspecies are not endangered, but many are protected. A helicopter doesn’t have the range, and the cost would be ridiculous. Air and ship are the most likely. Check with a zoo. They can probably tell you, and they could also tell you if any are available already in the US for a suitable use, such as a wildlife preserve or another zoo. They do reproduce”
I love Yahoo! Answers. I mean, let’s face it, it’s probably the only good thing that’s come out of the creation of the Internet.
Don’t believe me? Well get this, you ask a question, and then whackjobs answer it! THERE IS NOTHING BETTER! Thus, given my obsession, I finally decided to create an account to get to the bottom of some things that have been itching my brain. Here’s my first question, “How Do You Import Giraffes Into the United States?” Click on the link below to log-in and answer!