Nissan Gives Justin a Versa Note?

June 28

I’m basically a marketing genius. And with this genius comes a non stop flux of ideas. My recent idea? Selling myself out (in a very good way), by asking Nissan to provide me with a Versa Note to drive around Los Angeles in my day to day adventures, so as to increase brand awareness around the vehicle. Great idea right? You probably don’t even know what a Versa Note is you silly reader. Regardless, I sent them some a “note.” Get it?! Let’s see if they wise up and provide me with one!

Nissan Gives Justin a Versa Note
Nissan Gives Justin a Versa Note

Am I Getting Bit By Bugs Because I’m Too Sweet? How Do I Prevent It?

June 27

If you have questions about the world, I’m telling you, there is no more authoritative source on everything than Yahoo! Answers. It’s a community that is chock full of the weirdest ill informed people ever. So, naturally, if I have a question, it’s where I go for answers.

Today, my question is one that all of you will probably ask during the approaching summer:
Am I Getting Bit By Bugs Because I’m Too Sweet? How Do I Prevent It?

The reason for my question:
You guys…I’m getting bit like crazy! I don’t know by what, but I’ve got multiple bites on my arms and legs.

When I asked people why, they said it’s because I’m too sweet…which, honestly, is true. I’m a really sweet guy. But don’t get me wrong, I’ve also got an edge. I mean, I’m a nice guy, but I can wear a leather jacket and rough it up too. I like to think of myself as a Jack McBrayer Gosling.

Regardless, is there a food I can eat to stop these bugs from biting me, or am I just too darn sweet?

If you know the answer, or would like to contribute to this weird community, click here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130627150118AAxC5ND

Am I Getting Bit By Bugs Because I'm Too Sweet
Am I Getting Bit By Bugs Because I’m Too Sweet

I’m A Plump Dwarf

June 26

Sometimes you have to let go, and let e-mail take control of your life.

And in this case either
A) I think my agent has me incorrectly listed.
OR
B) I’m a plump dwarf.

Imma go with B!

ALSO, to prove my worth…that’s an e-mail from the President asking ME for help. Worry not nation, I’m here with helping plump dwarf hands.

I'm a Plump Dwarf

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