New cartoon: Loose Leaf Tea Bag vs. On The Loose Leaf Tea Bag by Justin J. Johnson
Octopus Tattoo Parlor Cartoon by Justin J. Johnson
Justin J. Johnson Responds To YouTube Comments – Episode 0.83
In this ongoing series, Justin J. Johnson will respond to YouTube comments. We’re not sure he got the message though, because apparently he’s just watching random videos on YouTube and not Rigor Tortoise videos. In any case, don’t forget to subscribe to Rigor Tortoise’s channel and comment!
Halloween! Presidents! Comedy! Pumpkins!
Hello Fair Reader!
I know, I know, you don’t want me to share a fun short from the Rigor Tortoise vault. Oh, wait…you’ll let me if I give you some relevant reasons?
Welp, here you go!
Reasons why you’ll enjoy this short:
-It’s spooky! You love spooky don’t you? You always say Halloween is your favorite time! Well enjoy the time, and get your eyes scared out of your head.
-It involves Presidents! You can’t take your eyes off of the Presidential Election coverage! Romney, Obama, Ryan, Biden, THIS SHORT!
-It’s funny. You like comedy…nay…you LOVE comedy!
-It’s pumpkin-centric! You wish you could have more pumpkin things! Pie, lattes, cake, fish, dirt, THIS SHORT!
Enough reasons? I thought so! So stop with demanding reasons, and just enjoy this Rigor Tortoise short!
LobsterDust (Justin J. Johnson & Adam Karell) Returns!
Tonight, LobsterDust will return! REJOICE! Okay, or just sit there, that’s cool too!
Below is a link to the show we’re doing. It’s at iO West, tonight at 10:30 PM. Come on out, it’s free you jerks!
TheJustinJohnsonShow.com/LIVE! – Justin J. Johnson’s Low Quality Upload!
If you didn’t make it out to the first TheJustinJohnsonShow.com/LIVE, and prefer watching very low quality versions of live shows on YouTube, boy oh boy are you in for a treat! Because below you will find something that’s like Christmas for you! If you don’t…well, don’t worry, because I’m in the process of doing it again.
Identity Theft Is Weird – The Justin Johnson Show
What are these? What am I doing? Who even knows, quit asking questions, strap yourself up and listen!
Excerpts From Famous Speeches of History (Edited to Include The Hottest Keywords From Google)
Cheecckkkk it out! You’re probably thinking “teddy” is only reserved for cute bears and old lady lingerie, but think again!!! Because it was the name of a B-A-P (Bad Ass President), Teddy Roosevelt! Dude held office during the Progressive Era and though he was progressive, he foreshadowed a time when journalists would be going a little wild and over sensationalizing stories and society…sound familiar? Dude knew what was coming, and called it what it was, muck-rakin…and he called out such rake of muck in his famous “The Man with the Muck-rake” speech. For my very own enjoyment (and probably nobody else’s), I have “optimized it” with the hottest Google keywords of today, September 18th, 2012.
To assail the great and admitted Denver Broncos of our political and industrial life with such crude Glee and sweeping Revolutions as to include decent Kate Middleton’s in the general Bacon Number means the searing of the Irish Daily Star. There results a general attitude either of Dallas Cowboy belief in and indifference to public corruption or else of a distrustful inability to discriminate between the Duchess of Cambridge and Amanda Bynes. Either attitude is fraught with untold damage to the Boardwalk Empire as a whole. The Cruel Summer has not sense to discriminate between Kate Middleton Nude and Seth MacFarlane is well-nigh as dangerous as the man who does discriminate and yet chooses the Black Mesa. There is nothing more distressing to Canelo Alvarez, to every good NFL Schedule than the hard, scoffing spirit of the WWE which treats the allegation of Notre Dame Football in a public man as a cause for Mitt Romney.
Such laughter is worse than the crackling of Amanda Bynes Rehab under Rosh Hashanah, for it denotes not merely the vacant Mitt Romney, but the heart in which Kate Middleton Topless Photos have been choked before they could grow to Revolution.
Theodore Roosevelt, April 14, 1906; Washington, D.C. “The Man with the Muck-rake”