Took a trip to the woods to do some stand-up for the trees.
Nature Stand-Up
July 1
Nature Stand-Up
July 1
Hypnotist Intervention
June 28
Nothing like a Friday in June to re-visit a Rigor Tortoise short where I’m probably the sexiest hypnotist that ever lived (minus the sexiest part). Enjoy you bag of hypno’s!
Nissan Gives Justin a Versa Note?
June 28
I’m basically a marketing genius. And with this genius comes a non stop flux of ideas. My recent idea? Selling myself out (in a very good way), by asking Nissan to provide me with a Versa Note to drive around Los Angeles in my day to day adventures, so as to increase brand awareness around the vehicle. Great idea right? You probably don’t even know what a Versa Note is you silly reader. Regardless, I sent them some a “note.” Get it?! Let’s see if they wise up and provide me with one!
Am I Getting Bit By Bugs Because I’m Too Sweet? How Do I Prevent It?
June 27
If you have questions about the world, I’m telling you, there is no more authoritative source on everything than Yahoo! Answers. It’s a community that is chock full of the weirdest ill informed people ever. So, naturally, if I have a question, it’s where I go for answers.
Today, my question is one that all of you will probably ask during the approaching summer:
Am I Getting Bit By Bugs Because I’m Too Sweet? How Do I Prevent It?
The reason for my question:
You guys…I’m getting bit like crazy! I don’t know by what, but I’ve got multiple bites on my arms and legs.
When I asked people why, they said it’s because I’m too sweet…which, honestly, is true. I’m a really sweet guy. But don’t get me wrong, I’ve also got an edge. I mean, I’m a nice guy, but I can wear a leather jacket and rough it up too. I like to think of myself as a Jack McBrayer Gosling.
Regardless, is there a food I can eat to stop these bugs from biting me, or am I just too darn sweet?
If you know the answer, or would like to contribute to this weird community, click here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130627150118AAxC5ND
I’m A Plump Dwarf
June 26
Sometimes you have to let go, and let e-mail take control of your life.
And in this case either
A) I think my agent has me incorrectly listed.
OR
B) I’m a plump dwarf.
Imma go with B!
ALSO, to prove my worth…that’s an e-mail from the President asking ME for help. Worry not nation, I’m here with helping plump dwarf hands.
In Case Of, Use Stairway – Cartoon by Justin J. Johnson
June 25
The Self-Aggrandizing Guide To Ending Correspondence
June 17
The Self-Aggrandizing Guide To Ending Correspondence
Character Development – Improvised Comedy by Justin J. Johnson
June 17
Hey There!
If you’ve been keeping track of LobsterDust shows, you’ll know that one is happening a week from today. Good job, you’re a regular calendar person. Also, if you’re keeping track of my other Lobster half, Adam Karell, you’ll know that he’s out of town a week from today. Good job, you’re a regular stalker person. So, in his absence, I’ll be trying out a new solo improvised show called “Character Development.” It’ll be completely improvised and full of bits so come on out if you’d like. Or even not if you’d like. Good job, you’re a like.
Invasive Surgery vs. Evasive Surgery Joke Ideas
June 4
I’m at it again! Coming up with too many bad ideas for one premise that I can’t figure out. Welp, lucky for you that rather than be a sane person who deletes these awful things, I’m releasing it into the world! Here’s a list of joke ideas I was trying to come up with for the premise: Invasive Surgery vs. Evasive Surgery.
Swallowing Down The Wrong Pipe Cartoon
May 28
