Cupid and his fat baby body and arrows are almost upon us…that’s right, Valentine’s Day is a week away! I know you’re worried, but take a break from thinking about that fat body baby shooting you with love, and watch this Russian classic: Crimes of Passion.
Latest cartoon: The Handy Dandy
Hey There Fair Reader!
I know what you’re thinking, “Justin you bring your website to life, live at UCB, then never update it?”
That’s not true! Quit thinking that!
Who do you think I am, Crazy Heart?! What do you think, I go to malls, get drinks, and then leave websites!? I don’t and I won’t. BUT, I am working on some exciting projects that have taken up the majority of my time. In my absence, I will leave you with one of my favorite things I’ve seen in a fortnight, and or, in a fort, or at night. Disney’s “Paperman.” It’s honestly the best thing ever. Please watch. And if you’ll excuse me, I must go to a mall and get a drink. See ya website! (I’ll update soon!)
Not Allowed Signs Not Allowed Sign.
You call it, duh!
Make a reservation, or just come on out. 5:30PM today! http://losangeles.ucbtheatre.com/shows/view/1693
Comedian Justin J. Johnson discusses what the spices of life are, why salt makes you stupid and what it is, mo money mo problems, and Jesus Christ driving a Mitsubishi Eclipse.
Come on out to UCB on Monday, January 21st at 5:30 PM! http://losangeles.ucbtheatre.com/shows/view/1693
If you haven’t been keeping tabs on all the fun/exciting/amazing things I’m doing, one of them is getting down to business. The business of getting weirdos from Yahoo! Answers to answer my life’s questions! This time I hit them with a hard one! Can they answer? Will they answer? Will you answer? Will I get an answer? Why do I say “answer” so much?
In any case, something about urinals has been bothering me. As you all know, I’m a clean gentleman! And as a clean gentleman, I hate it when stupid urinals try to make me look otherwise! You see, there’s a splash factor that comes into males using normal toilets with the seat up, and I’m determined to find out why we haven’t corrected that as a society. So, to find out, I took to the most reliable source of whackjobs, Yahoo! Answers.
Click on this link to see the actual question and hopefully answer (said it again!): http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Alh7fdkHGSQiBFxujEX1aSDsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20130115135254AA0lreR
If you don’t like links, or just don’t want to click on things, here’s what I asked:
Why Isn’t There a Splash Up Shield for Male Stand-up Urination on Regular Toilets?
Honestly, we’ve come to far as a race, and are too evolved for this to keep happening. When males urinate, there is a certain formula in which the height of the male, plus the speed of the urine, plus the shape of a toilet bowel that makes it impossible to not have some water/urine splash up on the bowl or even on the floor. Why hasn’t a shield or something of the like been invented?!?! OR has something been invented that I’m not aware of?