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The Dennis Nedry That I Knew by Justin J. Johnson
You know a lot has been said over the years about former Jurassic Park computer programmer, Dennis Nedry. He’s been viewed as a sloppy hacker who is money AND Doritos hungry. But I’m here to say, that…welp…that’s not entirely true. D, Ned (this is what his friends called him…well his semi-close friends. His close friends called him “Tank.” I’m not going to get into why.) was a great guy, and as I’d like to try to counter all of the bad press he’s received over the years with some good press.
Here are some of the positives you may not have known about Tank, aka D. Ned, aka, Dennis Nedry.
-Dude made some killer guac. Honestly. The best. He always used the ripest of avocados, and it was always the hit of the party. Chunky yet smooth. Spicy yet subtle. Delicious, yet delicious.
-He did an AMAZING Charlie Chaplin impression. As far as I’m concerned he WAS the Little Tramp. I’ve never seen a better physical comedian, and he wouldn’t even call himself physical, or a comedian.
-When he took the mic doing karaoke, he became Bruce Springsteen. If you closed your eyes, you’d think you were in the room with the Boss himself. And when you opened them, D. Ned would be wearing a bandattitude (a bandana with attitude).
-He invented the internet. This one you’re probably going to try to dispute, but I swear this guy came out of the womb programming. In fact, some say he programmed his own birth.
-He loved baja racing. His death might prove otherwise…though rain and mud are a different story…but Tank loved hopping in his Baja Racing Car and hitting the deep in’s and out’s of Los Cabos. I feel like I can still hear him exclaiming “I’m a mother fuckin champion” as he took a turn hard and harder.
Oh man D. Ned. You’re missed. Spread the news world, Dennis Nedry wasn’t as bad as you may have thought. In fact, he was pretty gosh darned amazing.
Great Friends = Me Dressed As a Girl
Recently, Rigor Tortoise member, Adam married the loveliest of ladies, Monica. The RT fellas put together the following video, and who else was called upon to capture the beauty of Monica than yours truly. Enjoy!
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butterfly
Stray Bullet
Justin J. Johnson Responding to YouTube Comments On Kitten Videos
Rigor Tortoise was recently informed that we needed to engage with the YouTube community. I tried to do exactly that, but apparently I was supposed to engage with our viewers and not random people who comment on kitten videos. Who knows.
A PSA That Means Something
Check out the latest PSA announcement by Rigor Tortoise.
A Dead Heat
Indie Rock Trading Deadline
Listen reader, if you’re reading this I’m betting you don’t know where you’re at. Perhaps you were searching for knit rugs and somehow got here, but I’m A) not judging you, and B) not going to try to figure out what miracle happened to lead you here. That said, I’ve got about 3 followers on Twitter, despite the fact that I’m lighting it up constantly like I’m Clark Griswold! (note to self: add that phrase as a lyric to my rap cd I’m working on). In any case, yesterday all of my worlds collided and #IndieRockTradingDeadline was trending on Twitter. And get this, two of my Indie Rock Trading Deadline tweets were featured on PasteMagazine.com. Don’t believe ME?!?! Check yourself fool! AND, check this out!
http://www.pastemagazine.com/blogs/1000words/2012/07/20-great-indierocktradedeadline-tweets.html