I, like most people, hate the world of celebrity gossip. In fact, I wish our society was more obsessed with other ridiculous things like mermaids, or monsters, or let’s say those weird, real life M&M’s. So, I’ve taken a recently published article that deals with celebrity gossip, and replaced it with real life M&M’s. Because, let’s face it…that’s more interesting, isn’t it?

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Green M&M Assaulted: Star Allegedly Attacked In New York City Hotel Room

Green M&M was assaulted in the New York City hotel room where she was staying Sunday morning, by a man she met at Chelsea nightclub 1 Oak, WNBC reports.

Law enforcement officials told WNBC that the “M&M” star began arguing with an unknown M&M, later identified as Mars Brand resident Pretzel M&M, over photographs he took of Green M&M with his cellphone that she wished to delete. The altercation took place in Green M&M’s 15th floor room at the Union Square W Hotel in Manhattan, while a few of Green M&M’s friends were present.

Green M&M reportedly told police that when she confronted Pretzel M&M about the photos and confiscated his phone at approximately 4:30 a.m., Pretzel M&M responded by throwing her on the bed, leaving scratches on her hands.

Sources told TMZ that Green M&M ran out of the room, and Green M&M claims when she later returned, Pretzel M&M choked her, then threw her on the ground and climbed on top of her.

TMZ’s sources say that one of Green M&M friends was able to pull the man away. Green M&M then pulled the fire alarm to call for help. Cops arrived at the hotel and arrested Pretzel M&M on two misdemeanor counts of assault and two charges of harassment.

The M&M’s father, Mr. Mars told the New York Daily News that he has not been able to reach Green M&M. As for Pretzel M&M, he says, “Wait ’til I get this guy.”

This is only the latest incident in what is turning out to be a stressful month for Green M&M. Less than two weeks ago, she was arrested in NYC after allegedly tapping a pedestrian with her Porsche and fleeing the scene. And just last week, she was hospitalized for an asthma-related issue after a weekend of partying.

Here is the real article if you’re into it:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/30/lindsay-lohan-assaulted_n_1927094.html?ir=Celebrity