New cartoon: Loose Leaf Tea Bag vs. On The Loose Leaf Tea Bag by Justin J. Johnson
Loose Leaf Tea Bag vs. On The Loose Leaf Tea Bag by Justin J. Johnson
November 29
Giraffe My Ass Off
November 28
Apparently Any Schmuck Can Get a Giraffe!
Oh man! Remember last week when I told you Yahoo! Answers was unreal? Remember when I posted a ridiculous question and assumed somebody would answer it? Well guess what, I WAS RIGHT! Annnnd, apparently giraffes are super easy to import into the United States BUT they do reproduce. Here’s the text as seen below:
“Most subspecies are not endangered, but many are protected. A helicopter doesn’t have the range, and the cost would be ridiculous. Air and ship are the most likely. Check with a zoo. They can probably tell you, and they could also tell you if any are available already in the US for a suitable use, such as a wildlife preserve or another zoo. They do reproduce”
How Do You Import Giraffes Into the United States?
November 21
Hello!
I love Yahoo! Answers. I mean, let’s face it, it’s probably the only good thing that’s come out of the creation of the Internet.
Don’t believe me? Well get this, you ask a question, and then whackjobs answer it! THERE IS NOTHING BETTER! Thus, given my obsession, I finally decided to create an account to get to the bottom of some things that have been itching my brain. Here’s my first question, “How Do You Import Giraffes Into the United States?” Click on the link below to log-in and answer!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121121083118AANlIrz
‘Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
November 21
Enjoy the timeless Rigor Tortoise short, “‘Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving.”
A Boring Monologue About Guacamole Accompanied By Me Playing Guitar and Harmonica
November 8
Listen, you guys do what you want with your Wednesday evenings, but I’m going to use mine to crappily record a monologue while I play guitar and harmonica.
Halloween! Presidents! Comedy! Pumpkins!
October 16
Hello Fair Reader!
I know, I know, you don’t want me to share a fun short from the Rigor Tortoise vault. Oh, wait…you’ll let me if I give you some relevant reasons?
Welp, here you go!
Reasons why you’ll enjoy this short:
-It’s spooky! You love spooky don’t you? You always say Halloween is your favorite time! Well enjoy the time, and get your eyes scared out of your head.
-It involves Presidents! You can’t take your eyes off of the Presidential Election coverage! Romney, Obama, Ryan, Biden, THIS SHORT!
-It’s funny. You like comedy…nay…you LOVE comedy!
-It’s pumpkin-centric! You wish you could have more pumpkin things! Pie, lattes, cake, fish, dirt, THIS SHORT!
Enough reasons? I thought so! So stop with demanding reasons, and just enjoy this Rigor Tortoise short!
This Woman Loves The Most Exotic Marigold Hotel
October 5
This Woman Loves The Most Exotic Marigold Hotel…
Punctuation Humor Comma That’s Not Funny Period
August 8
As is the case with most, sometimes I get stuck on an idea and write too many things about it. Then rather than tuck that away into oblivion…wait, can you tuck something into oblivion? Seems pretty involved. Regardless, rather than tuck it in…that’s what he said…I put it out there, that’s what he said. So hold on to your butts, and get ready to groan at a series of comma ideas I’ve been playing with.
